Szandra has been a single mum since 2018. She has one son and works full time, without the support of family nearby. Here she tells us more about her life as a single parent.
How long have you been a frolo?
Me and my son’s dad had an on and off relationship in 2017 when I was pregnant and finally separated in 2018 August when me and the baby moved out.
Tell us a bit about your frolo family.
I live with my 3.5 (almost 4) year old son. Sadly, we have no family around and due to Covid it has not been easy as there are all the travel restrictions in place. Hopefully soon we can see my family.
How do you manage a work-life balance as a single parent?
Since 2018 May I worked four days a week as an admin/helpdesk. I spent two days in the office and then worked through the weekend with my son at home, as the company’s on call person. At the time it was the job every single parent could dream of, however now that my son is not a baby anymore it became very hard. I actually started a new admin job this month, which is full time, Monday to Friday. I hope we can make the time spent together more exciting over the weekend.
What do you like to do when you have time away from children?
I love to travel, city breaks, beaches etc. I also enjoy an odd night out with my friends.
What do you like about the Frolo community?
I love the fact that it makes me feel part of community where they accept me as I am, as a single parent. The Frolo community encourages people to be proud of being a single parent and that we share similar problems. I love how supportive people are on the app and that there is always someone to talk to if needed.
Describe parenthood in three words.
Numinous, fulfilling, exhausting.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Stop stressing about things that do not matter or what others think of you!
Best parenting advice you’ve ever received?
You don’t have to love it.
Who or what is your greatest love?
My son, it is just indescribable love I feel for him. I would put wine, strawberries and cheese as second options.
Where is your happy place?
Any seaside or beach.
Is there a book you’d like to recommend to other frolos? A podcast?
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Mason. I think it is brilliant. People often say the key to confidence and success in life is to simply “not give a fuck.”
What is your motto for life?
It will always work out; this is just a phase and will pass. Better things are always coming.
What is your greatest achievement?
My biggest achievement is keeping my life together with no family or support. I am a third year uni student, have a full-time job, a happy child, a happy mommy.
I think all my past decisions good or bad made me who I am today, so no regrets!
Biggest life lesson?
You create your life and happiness, stop wanting other do it for you.
Last time you laughed hard?
My son is bilingual and he tends to translate word by word from English. We had some friends around who also speak the same language. He walked in the room and said ‘I’m hot’ in my mother tongue, which if translated word by word means that I’m gay. We were laughing so hard!
Last time you cried?
I am a cry baby so it is a weekly thing, starting from watching a cute animal video to actually feeling exhausted.
What song would you add to the Frolo playlist?
Let’s Be Young and I lately like Olivia Rodrigo Good 4 You. It is a good song to shout to whoever goes through a break up.
What advice would you give to someone just starting out on their single parent journey?
Be patient, it all works out and you are much stronger than you would ever think.
What have you learned about yourself through being a single parent?
That I am capable to do everything! I am stronger than I ever thought I am and learnt to love myself.
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