By blogger, Melisa Fox of Just-us-two.com.
When I became a single parent with a child of only two months old, I could best describe my feelings as… chaotic. One minute I was feeling utter heartbreak, the next, complete joy at the sight of my baby doing something new for the first time. But always, I was exhausted and slightly overwhelmed.
Things got a little easier as time passed, and by the time my son was 7 months old I had started a single parenting blog – Just-Us-Two.com. My friends and family told me “Don’t call it that, it won’t always just be the two of you”.
I would roll my eyes at what I perceived as them trying to comfort me with a white lie. It was the height of the pandemic, I was literally bound to my house in government-enforced isolation. I didn’t have a lot of hope about my love life at all. As far as I was concerned, it was just my baby and me. But life has a funny way of nudging you towards the path you’re meant to take… One day I wrote an article about ‘What to write in your single mum dating bio’ and it took off.
I started writing more content on that subject, and for me to write those posts, I had to download a dating app. I started off just using it for reference, but after some time, I started to think, what harm would it do to actually try dating for real? I wasn’t in any mad rush to meet someone, so I figured I’d just set my standards high and IF someone really promising came along – I’d go for it.
I didn’t think anything would actually come of it. But it did.
One day I was really struggling. My son was sick, he was upset and irritable. I was doing my best to look after him while trying to juggle everything else too – and it wasn’t going well. In the middle of a very low moment, my phone pinged, and it was a match… I remember having a feeling of vulnerability when I looked at his name and his picture. I had my doubts about who would want to date a tired mum like me with a ‘terrible twos’ toddler. I couldn’t help wondering, should I bother or am I simply better off alone?
As a single mother you spend a lot of time telling yourself that you are strong, that you don’t need anyone, and you’ve got it all sorted out. But that’s not always true, and certainly wasn’t always the case for me. I decided to pick up my phone and reply – and I actually tried to make an effort. To my surprise, the conversation started flowing, and it didn’t stop.
Several months later and now I have this amazing guy in my life who makes me happier every day. I genuinely didn’t think I’d ever fall again. But this time around, it’s been different.
He was a single dad, so he instantly understood my lifestyle, respected my
commitments, and just generally got it. When you date someone without kids it can be hard for them to understand that you’re not always available at the drop of a hat. My point in writing all of this, is that even when you think you’re done with love, or love is done with you – it might not be.
‘Single Parent’ is a badge I wear with pride – because it’s a hard job and a job I did well. But now I see it may not be the last badge I’ll ever have. I’ve realised if you put yourself back out there and have faith in love, you can discover another outcome…And for you, like me, it could all start with just one match on an app!
Melisa Fox is a renowned blogger – check out her blog for more single parent wisdom at Just-Us-Two.com.
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