Being a single parent means you’re doing it all. The planning, the stretching, the showing up - even when you’re tired (which seems like always, especially when your child is young)!  And as you know, money can be one of the heaviest things we carry.  Between trying to cover everything, give your kids what they need (at least all their basic needs, including keeping a roof over your heads and a warm bed during the cold days and nights), and trying to squeeze in a little bit of self-care for you - it’s a lot.

Despite all that, you can feel more in control, without being perfect. A few small shifts can help you breathe a little easier and even enjoy money again. So here are three ways to take back your power - without the guilt.

🧠 1. The Mental Load of Money Is Real - But It Can Be Lightened

The truth is, managing all the household finances on your own is a lot. Even if the bills are getting paid, the weight of constantly thinking about money can be overwhelming!  You worry about what to feed the kids (can you afford something nutritious and/or healthy), childcare cost, cost of school trips, replacing their lost school sweat shirts or the trouser grazed at the knee from just being kids – all of that going round in your head as you go by your day; it really is a lot!

Here are a few ways to lighten that pressure:

• Do a simple check-in (at least monthly): just 10 minutes to look at what’s coming in and what’s going out so you can gain control of your money and direct it where it is most needed.  This gives you a level of control and eases the worry a bit because you know what you have and can plan for those things taking up space in your head,
• Celebrate small wins! Saving £5 or avoiding an impulse buy is still progress and progress builds momentum! Even the tiniest steps forward can help you feel more capable, more confident and is a step in the right direction.
• Don’t carry it all alone. Journaling your thoughts or talking to a trusted friend can really help lift the fog. As a solo parent, nothing beats a trusted network of other solo parents who understand the challenges and are there to listen and sometimes offer suggestions that are helpful; so be sure to build one for yourself.

💭 Reflection: What’s one money worry you’ve been carrying silently? Just naming it is a powerful first step.

🌼2. Guilt-Free Spending Is a Form of Self-Care

We often feel guilty spending money on ourselves - especially when we’re trying to stretch every pound.  But you’re allowed some fun.  You’re allowed to enjoy your money, not just survive on it.

So, try this - here are a few simple tips that can help you do exactly that:

• Start an “I deserve it fund”- even £10 a month. Name it something lovely like “Me Money” or “Treat Jar” or “Fun Pot.”  or “R&R Fund.”
• Choose experiences over things:  like a DIY spa night, a park picnic, or a movie night in with the kids.
• Use the 24-hour pause rule. If it still feels worth it tomorrow, it probably is.

💭 Reflection: What’s one small thing you could spend on this month that would genuinely make you happy?  No guilt.  No justifying.  Just happy.

📝 Try this: Choose that one thing, write it down, and plan for it. Budget for ‘happy’ like you would for bills - because you matter too.

👶🏽 3. Teaching Kids About Money - Without Spending More

Children are always watching us - how we talk about money, how we spend it, and even how we stress about it.  The good news?  You don’t need fancy tools or big lessons to start shaping their mindset.

Here are a few easy ways to start with younger kids:

• Let them help make small money choices - like comparing prices or picking the best value treat at the shop.
• Try a “spend, save, share” jar system if they get pocket money - even if it’s just £1 a week.
• Turn learning into a game: set up a pretend shop at home and use play money to "buy" snacks or toys.

And for older kids and teens:

• Get them involved in real-life budgeting: show them how you plan for groceries or ask them to help with the monthly family budget.
• Let them manage a small budget for something they care about - like planning a birthday meal or shopping for their own clothes within a set amount.
• Talk openly about your financial decisions: explain why you choose one option over another, or what it means to prioritise needs vs wants.

As single parents, we often feel guilty that we can’t give our kids more - more toys, more holidays, more experiences.  But when you pass on money skills, you’re giving them something even more valuable: confidence, clarity, and resilience.  It shifts the focus from what you can’t give to what you’re building together, thus lighten the load you’re carrying.

💭 Reflection: What’s one money habit or value you want your child to carry into adulthood? How could you start showing them that today - in a real, age-appropriate way?

💬 Final Thoughts

Money and solo parenting are full of emotions - love, pressure, pride, fear. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need space to reflect, support to lean on, and the reminder that you deserve both peace and pleasure.

So, whether you’re teaching your kids smart money habits, giving yourself permission to enjoy a treat, or just acknowledging that money feels hard right now - know this:

📌 You’re doing better than you think.
📌 You’re already making progress.
📌 And you absolutely deserve a bit of indulgence.

If you’re looking for more support and practical tools to help you move forward, my book Money Solutions for Single Mums is a great place to start. It’s packed with real, proven tips on:

• Generating income while being the sole caretaker of your child
• Implementing practical steps that save money and put extra cash in your pocket

and helps you explore ways to confidently move forward - at your pace, on your terms. (Available to read for free on kindle unlimited until 2 June)

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